I want to tell you about what got me out of bed this morning. With end-of-year tiredness and business pushing to keep me there, something else got me out in a very good mood. It’s the lesson I got to teach to four classes today about peer pressure. It’s really been the dessert to the meat and potatoes of everything else this year (okay, I’m a social science geek, I admit). I’ve been doing a “fishbowl” experiment with 4th & 5th grade classes where students are told to either eat a raisin and persuade others to eat raisins, or they are told not to eat a raisin at all, no matter what. The result, with some typical complications, is a pretty insightful look at what works and what doesn’t work with peer pressure, and a better sense of how powerful it is (most of the no-raisin group ends up eating a raisin immediately after the experiment). The first times I did the lesson, we talked about why to say no to something specific – beer. Today, some students told me some scary stories about E-cigarettes that made me change my example, and I was blown away with the stories. I was also impressed with students’ abilities to come up with reasons not to try “vaping”.
1. E-cigarettes are marketed to kids with selecting “young-people-music” Pandora stations to advertise on, and with flavors like apple, banana, vanilla… that are clearly not for adults.
2. E-cigarettes contain nicotine, which is one of the most addictive substances known, up there with Oxycodone and Heroin.
3. E-cigarettes are illegal for minors, and could result in trouble from police (not to mention parents!).
4. The research about E-cigarettes is difficult because it’s so hard to find subjects who “vape” but don’t smoke. While it hasn’t been proven, we can imply that E-cigarettes can lead easily to addiction and then tobacco when “vaping” isn’t an option.
We also brainstormed things to keep in mind that will help students deal with peer pressure. First, students observed the patterns of persuasion – repetition (“do it!”), physical proximity, privacy (you’re not likely to start drinking alcohol if your parents are watching) – that don’t need logic to convince us. Here are some tips that students found useful.
1. Get physical space. There’s no rule that says you have to stay put, and it may be better to get in trouble for getting out of your seat (like on the bus) than for using some substance.
2. Make up your mind ahead of time. Decide now what you’re going to do if someone offers you cigarettes, alcohol, stealing, cheating, skipping, hacking… If your friends know you won’t try it, they’re less likely to suggest it.
3. Use logic – understand WHY you wouldn’t even try something. I listed reasons above not to try “vaping”, and if I had time I’d make lists for alcohol, drugs, cheating, hacking, sexting, etc… Realize that each list is different. Words like “cirrhosis”, “inhibition”, “nicotine”, “emphysema” make us more confident about our decision to say “no”.
4. Share stories. “My uncle is an alcoholic. I don’t want to live like him.” “My neighbor can’t have a license because ______.” “My grandpa died of lung cancer.” Make it personal, close, and real.
5. Use humor. My favorites from this year, “I’m sorry guys, I’m late for an appointment with my hot-air balloon instructor”, and “I haven’t given my orangutan a bath in a week, and you know how he gets…” This leaves friends confused, then amused, and still says, “no” while giving you time to get away.
6. Delay (don’t forget to keep delaying). Delaying gives you time to think, which is your best tool against peer pressure. If it’s a bad idea, you’ll know it if you give yourself enough time to think about it. The worst decisions are made at a moment’s notice.
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1. E-cigarettes are marketed to kids with selecting “young-people-music” Pandora stations to advertise on, and with flavors like apple, banana, vanilla… that are clearly not for adults.
2. E-cigarettes contain nicotine, which is one of the most addictive substances known, up there with Oxycodone and Heroin.
3. E-cigarettes are illegal for minors, and could result in trouble from police (not to mention parents!).
4. The research about E-cigarettes is difficult because it’s so hard to find subjects who “vape” but don’t smoke. While it hasn’t been proven, we can imply that E-cigarettes can lead easily to addiction and then tobacco when “vaping” isn’t an option.
We also brainstormed things to keep in mind that will help students deal with peer pressure. First, students observed the patterns of persuasion – repetition (“do it!”), physical proximity, privacy (you’re not likely to start drinking alcohol if your parents are watching) – that don’t need logic to convince us. Here are some tips that students found useful.
1. Get physical space. There’s no rule that says you have to stay put, and it may be better to get in trouble for getting out of your seat (like on the bus) than for using some substance.
2. Make up your mind ahead of time. Decide now what you’re going to do if someone offers you cigarettes, alcohol, stealing, cheating, skipping, hacking… If your friends know you won’t try it, they’re less likely to suggest it.
3. Use logic – understand WHY you wouldn’t even try something. I listed reasons above not to try “vaping”, and if I had time I’d make lists for alcohol, drugs, cheating, hacking, sexting, etc… Realize that each list is different. Words like “cirrhosis”, “inhibition”, “nicotine”, “emphysema” make us more confident about our decision to say “no”.
4. Share stories. “My uncle is an alcoholic. I don’t want to live like him.” “My neighbor can’t have a license because ______.” “My grandpa died of lung cancer.” Make it personal, close, and real.
5. Use humor. My favorites from this year, “I’m sorry guys, I’m late for an appointment with my hot-air balloon instructor”, and “I haven’t given my orangutan a bath in a week, and you know how he gets…” This leaves friends confused, then amused, and still says, “no” while giving you time to get away.
6. Delay (don’t forget to keep delaying). Delaying gives you time to think, which is your best tool against peer pressure. If it’s a bad idea, you’ll know it if you give yourself enough time to think about it. The worst decisions are made at a moment’s notice.
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K-3rd students have been getting a dose of anti-bullying, kind of along the lines of Ally Week back in October (remember October?). We’ve talked plenty about bullying – it’s intentional, it’s repetitive, it’s hurtful, it can come from anyone (popular, unpopular, girls, boys, rich, poor, victims, non-victims…) – and this past week we had an important lesson in what to do about it.
I adapted a TED talk that was a little over-their-heads and put together a two-dimensional table that I describe for kids and have them practice:
I adapted a TED talk that was a little over-their-heads and put together a two-dimensional table that I describe for kids and have them practice:
We start by talking about power. We understand it can be good or bad to have power – it depends. Then we talk about what it depends on, and I point out the effect of stress on power. High-stress power can be very threatening, and high-stress low-power is pretty weak. Nobody wants to be in either situation. I suggest kids keep their pointer-fingers to themselves (put them on your hips instead), relax face muscles (“straight-face”), and look people in the eyes. We practice this, and notice how it’s hard but possible to control our body and facial expressions. I tell kids it’s great to be relaxed, but when we’re faced with a tough situation (bullying, tests, work) we need to be deliberate about taking an assertive posture. All 2nd & 3rd graders should know the word, “assertive” by now, and should show their “Wonder-Woman” stance (I didn’t call it that! The TED talk does, though). In our assertive poses and straight faces, we practice saying “don’t laugh at me”, “don’t laugh at him”, “you’re excluding, and we don’t do that here at Ainsworth.”
Finally, some sad news some may have already heard. Ainsworth has only been given 0.5 staffing for a school counselor for next year. What that means for the scheduling of guidance curriculum and groups is still unclear. What I can say is that I will be less available, and more rushed to fulfil the needs of the comprehensive program at Ainsworth. I welcome any support for organizing next year’s career fair, the guidance curriculum, and advocacy for a full-time school counselor at Ainsworth. In case you’re curious, I will be at Peninsula K-8 in N. Portland, from whence I came to Ainsworth, on the days I am not at Ainsworth.
Finally, some sad news some may have already heard. Ainsworth has only been given 0.5 staffing for a school counselor for next year. What that means for the scheduling of guidance curriculum and groups is still unclear. What I can say is that I will be less available, and more rushed to fulfil the needs of the comprehensive program at Ainsworth. I welcome any support for organizing next year’s career fair, the guidance curriculum, and advocacy for a full-time school counselor at Ainsworth. In case you’re curious, I will be at Peninsula K-8 in N. Portland, from whence I came to Ainsworth, on the days I am not at Ainsworth.